Yesterday's news was unexpected.
And very confusing.
A quick recap from my last appointment with Dr. IVF:
I go in for a sonohysterogram (salt water up the hoohoo to take a look at the inside of the uterus) and trial transfer. Within seconds of starting the great wanding, Dr. IVF says I have a large fibroid that's acting like an IUD and that is so disrupting the uterine cavity it will require an abdominal myomecotmy (basically a c-section to deliver my fibroid). He says there is no reason to have the sonohysterogram or trial transfer at this point. We cry and make a bunch of life changing decisions.
A quick recap of the call I received from my general OB yesterday:
I have a 3 cm fibroid (considered small!) on the outside of my uterus. Not touching my uterine lining at all. General OB is not sure why Dr. IVF said it was inside my uterus and required such complicated surgery. Then General OB says that the only way to definitively tell if the fibroid is inside or outside is to have a sonohysterogram (the exact test I was supposed to have in October and Dr. IVF called off).
I called Dr. IVF. Offices closed until Jan 3. WTF!!!
And now I'm so confused.
Which information is correct? Fibroids don't just up and move.
We even drove over to Dr. IVF's office, like total lunatics, because we thought there is no way an IVF office can be closed for a whole week - maybe they just gave the person answering the phones a little vacation. Nope. Dark. Locked. Damn it.
So now we have to wait until Jan 3rd to try to track down some answers.
I don't even know how I feel yet. I mean, I feel just about everything (angry, frustrated, sad, out of control, hopeful, confused). You name it. I got it. Even though there were a lot of tears yesterday, I do realize this crazy-making news also means hope. Maybe what we thought was impossible is possible? Our original plan was to bake one and then buy one (hence the blog). Maybe we can now. I don't know. Despite my fears, I was truly excited about our adoption plans. But despite my excitement, I was truly sad to never carry one of our children.
I am trying to be patient. I am trying not to make plans. I am trying not to make big decisions. I am trying not to freak out. We don't know enough. We don't know anything.
If anyone has a fibroid/pregnancy story, will you share?
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