Wednesday, December 29, 2010

More info, less answers

Yesterday's news was unexpected.
And very confusing.

A quick recap from my last appointment with Dr. IVF:
I go in for a sonohysterogram (salt water up the hoohoo to take a look at the inside of the uterus) and trial transfer. Within seconds of starting the great wanding, Dr. IVF says I have a large fibroid that's acting like an IUD and that is so disrupting the uterine cavity it will require an abdominal myomecotmy (basically a c-section to deliver my fibroid). He says there is no reason to have the sonohysterogram or trial transfer at this point. We cry and make a bunch of life changing decisions.

A quick recap of the call I received from my general OB yesterday:
I have a 3 cm fibroid (considered small!) on the outside of my uterus. Not touching my uterine lining at all. General OB is not sure why Dr. IVF said it was inside my uterus and required such complicated surgery. Then General OB says that the only way to definitively tell if the fibroid is inside or outside is to have a sonohysterogram (the exact test I was supposed to have in October and Dr. IVF called off).

I called Dr. IVF. Offices closed until Jan 3. WTF!!!
And now I'm so confused.
Which information is correct? Fibroids don't just up and move.
We even drove over to Dr. IVF's office, like total lunatics, because we thought there is no way an IVF office can be closed for a whole week - maybe they just gave the person answering the phones a little vacation. Nope. Dark. Locked. Damn it.

So now we have to wait until Jan 3rd to try to track down some answers.

I don't even know how I feel yet. I mean, I feel just about everything (angry, frustrated, sad, out of control, hopeful, confused). You name it. I got it. Even though there were a lot of tears yesterday, I do realize this crazy-making news also means hope. Maybe what we thought was impossible is possible? Our original plan was to bake one and then buy one (hence the blog). Maybe we can now. I don't know. Despite my fears, I was truly excited about our adoption plans. But despite my excitement, I was truly sad to never carry one of our children.

I am trying to be patient. I am trying not to make plans. I am trying not to make big decisions. I am trying not to freak out. We don't know enough. We don't know anything.

If anyone has a fibroid/pregnancy story, will you share?


  1. I have no story, but what a freaking rollercoaster! Is there another IVF place you can go for a second opinion on all this? I am so hopeful for you that your OB is right and that you can go ahead and make the decisions you want to without having to worry about major surgery.

  2. What a nightmare.

    I don't have a directly relevant story, but I did get told I might have fibroids after my HSG, but the SHG revealed no such thing. This stuff is inexact.

  3. That's incredibly frustrating that the IVF place may have given you discouraging information incorrectly. But... there's some hope now, if they were wrong.

    I agree with Isa that trying another IVF place might be a good idea. One that can provide answers and support you as you make the right decisions for yourself, your body, your future family.

    Good luck tracking down more answers.

  4. Nightmare! Just FYI, our IVF clinic is also closed until Jan 3rd. They don't let anyone start a cycle after Dec 1, or something like that. I have a friend who had a history of really bad fibroids, was told she could never carry a child, and now has two (she's straight and got pregnant "naturally" and "accidentally" which makes me think if you've just got one 3cm fibroid, IVF would give you a good shot). I agree that maybe it's time for a 2nd IVF opinion.

  5. There's a girl on the forums who actually went in for a lap to check for endo and ended up getting a myomectomy for a fibroid, she got pregnant within 3 months after (and this was after trying for about 10 years and trying with charting for a couple of years.) I know she compared it to a c-section, but honestly, my c-section recovery was a breeze, I'd totally do it if it meant being able to get pregnant. (Plus you should be able to say it's causing you pain and get insurance to cover it even if you don't have fertility coverage.) I mean, hopefully it's on the outside, but even if it's on the inside, there's hope it can get fixed.

  6. no fibroids here, but certainly have heard some fibroid + baby stories. i *think* reproducing genius had one that stayed in; glum bunny had one that came out. (links to both blogs on my blog, if you don't already know them.)

    the very first thing that comes to my mind, though, is second opinion. by which i mean: competent opinion from someone interested in treating you. i do not understand not doing the SHG.

  7. I don't understand it either, Bionic. He was *so convinced* it was this huge, complicated, surgery-requiring mass that we were *so convinced* that it was a huge, complicated, surgery-requiring mass. And he came so well recommended, even by General OB. And the kicker is, he *was* our second opinion.

    But, you are all right, and you better believe I'm going to be knocking on some IVF doors come Jan 3. Not because we're sure what we want to do, but because we want to make decisions based on accurate info. And now I'm going to go have a margarita!!