Monday, September 24, 2012

IVF stats...what do they mean?

I made an appointment today. With a new RE. My insurance kicks in on October 1 and my appointment is on October 2. To say we are excited is an understatement.

When we first started TTC, we went with the hippie feminist OB office that was linked with the local women's health center. We were super disappointed in the Dr and later regretted following our principles versus looking up reviews and getting recommendations.

When we switched to an RE office, we went with someone who was well recommended in the community. He was awesome and we loved him. Of course, we decided to ditch IVF and that was that.

Now we're back in the game. I looked up SART IVF statistics for the 3 clinics in our city. Wow! I had no idea there could be such a difference. So, this morning, I made an appointment with the clinic that, by far, has the best statistics. Then, I started looking up online reviews. People *hate* that place. Lots of comments about how you're treated like cattle, they're only interested in $, it takes forever to get a call back, etc.

So how do we choose? Do we go with the feel-good friendly place with the considerably lower statistics (think 16% vs 35% success rate in my age group). Do we choose by the numbers? What we want is a successful, healthy pregnancy and baby, so aren't the numbers more important? I know people people spin data all the time (I do it for a living). Could the good numbers place have messed with their stats?

I could seriously drive myself crazy thinking about all of this (the good numbers place has 3 locations and a bazillion do I know which is the best?)

Clearly we're back on the TTC roller coaster and the endless obsession with numbers and days and symptoms has started.

Friday, September 21, 2012

An update on girls who rock, governments that suck, and the best grandma in the whole wide world

My girl has been amazing. I've been going through a lot and my girl has stood up under the pressure and taken my hand to help lead me through. I am so thankful.

I did talk to the IRS (who knew the IRS was a nice Indian woman who wished me luck). Apparently, it is now "procedure" to review all adoption claims and request more information. I guess the moral of the story is, don't send too much info the first time around as you want to be sure to have something left to send when they ask for more. I faxed them 25 pages of "more". Hope that satisfies the beast.

This is my grandma. This month she turned 95. This month she was admitted to a hospice. She is beautiful in a million in one ways and she saved my life in a million and one more. I am so grateful to have her. Every day I hope she finds the peace and comfort that she is looking for and that she knows she is loved. 

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Why my wife rocks, the government sucks, and saying goodbye is hard

Yesterday, I was telling S that sometimes, late at night, when I can't sleep, I start to have doubts about us having kids. Maybe we're too old. Maybe we'll wreck havoc on their little psyches. Maybe it's selfish to want to try IVF. And this is what my wife said: "We only get this one life and we're going to live it balls to the wall." Somehow that was absolutely the perfect thing to say.

Also yesterday, I received a letter from the IRS claiming that I owe them thousands (thousands!) of dollars. They have denied our adoption credit. Even though the credit clearly states that your adoption does not have to be finalized and even though I double checked with the lady who does our taxes and she said I should definitely file for it. And because our government is all kinds of efficient, I filed my taxes in March, they sent me the denial letter in September, and they would like their 6 months of interest thankyouverymuch.

My grandma is sick. She misses my grandpa. She is tired of being here. It is time to say goodbye. I'm flying home this week to tell her how much I love her.

Friday, September 7, 2012

Labor Day: The time we sacrificed brain cells to the paint gods

S and I decided to give the house a little paint makeover for the Labor Day holiday. First up, the master bathroom. I picked Aqua Smoke.

I thought the name sounded romantic and the color looked beautiful and mysterious. Apparently, romantic and mysterious are not what you want in a bathroom. It didn't turn out that great. Kind of dark and claustrophobic. And poor S now has childhood flashbacks of her mother's love of all things country blue every time she walks in there.

Next up, the den. We went with Golden Orchards. Hokey name. Awesome color. We love it. It's all bright and cheery and beautiful. We added some super glossy white trim and with our ugly-but-pretty maroon shag rug (an impulse buy at Target years ago) it's now my favorite room in the house

And lastly, the dingy, fingerprinty hallway ended up with a fresh coat of Cookie Crumb. Too bad it's not edible like the wallpaper in Willy Wonka and The Chocolate Factory.

I think we're done with painting for now. We were over it before we were even half way through the long weekend. Turns out that painting the house when it's 85 degrees out and too humid to open any windows is a really bad idea. But if we weren't high from the paint fumes, we probably never would have finished :)