Thursday, September 19, 2013

IVF #2: Officially BFN

RE called with the news this afternoon.
Even though I knew the answer, it hurt just as much as seeing that single line on Monday.
She thinks we should try again.
I think she's crazy.
Out of 19 eggs, we've only had 3 make it to transfer. We've never had a positive pregnancy test and we've never had anything to freeze.
I think the last question is, donor embryos or done TTC?
Makes me so mad that we didn't jump right to IVF back when we started trying (and we were both 35!). I hate that so much other stuff got in the way (surgeries, hospitalizations, insurance). We worked so hard to fix the other problems, only to end up with eggs that are too old.
I feel like we need to take some time to figure out what our goals are as parents. At 40. Or older.
It used to be we wanted two kids, that I really wanted to be pregnant, and that we really wanted to adopt.
Maybe that looks different now? One kid? No bio kid pregnancies? Open to different types of adoptions?
It's so hard to keep getting back up again.


  1. Oh I am sorry. Even though you were prepared you are never *really* prepared. This just sucks everything out of you and I wish that you could have heard different news. Thinking of you.

  2. I wish I had some inspiring words but i don't... I am so sorry for this disappointment. You seem to have a good attitude about options and looking forward. As you said, there are many ways to get from point a to point b.

  3. I'm so sorry. Take some time to grieve before jumping into making your next steps decisions. There are lots of wonderful ways to become the parents you want to be.

  4. I wish there were more to say than I am sorry. My heart truly aches and with the ache also comes a certainty that one day you will have your baby and that baby is going to be so so lucky and so so loved.

  5. I'm sorry. And I wish you lots of peace in those conversations--you've been through a lot already, and I can't imagine they're getting any easier. Hugs to you both.

  6. Somehow I just now found your blog. Saying I'm sorry doesn't even cover it. Wish I had some advice on how to make these sorts of decisions. It is really, really hard to keep getting back up again.

  7. i swore i posted something, but i guess i did not. i'm so sorry. my heart is breaking for you.

  8. I've been away for awhile, so I hope this is ok for me to say now..I am really sorry that this is happening for you. It's just sucky to have to think about these things and have IVF not work after all that goes into it is heartbreaking.