Tuesday, October 2, 2012

This is happening

Met with my new RE this morning. He was a nerdy introvert, much like yours truly, so it was an uneasy 20 minutes of too long pauses and awkward interjections. But in the end, we agreed on a plan. It's pretty much the same plan as before. Surgery. IVF. Lots of finger crossing and hope.

He outlined the problems: old eggs, blocked tube, scarred ovary, growing fibroid, polyp, and endometriosis

He complimented where he could: "your uterus has a very nice triangular shape to it"

He gave new hope: robotic myomectomy (vs standard slice and dice), which comes with a shorter (potentially easier) recovery.

He assessed the primary culprit: fibroid has grown 1 cm wider and 1 cm taller in the last 6 months (now approximately 4.5 cm x 4.5 cm). It encompasses quite a bit of the left side of my uterus, pushing my lining way over to one side and obscuring my left ovary (that was kind of neat to see on the ultrasound - I love a doc who describes everything as it's happening).

There are still a few unanswered questions and potential hurdles (clearly I have a lot of googling to do):

  • Can they get the polyp at the same time as the fibroid?
  • Will my insurance cover the surgery?
  • Does robotic surgery mean I can have a vaginal delivery?
  • Is robotic as efficient as abdominal in removing the fibroid and preserving fertility?
  • Will my insurance require IUIs before IVF?
  • And the standard, will any of this even work?

I was a neurotic mess going into the appointment. RE-PTSD is no joke. While I no longer find it embarrassing to drop my pants and hop up on the table, I was feeling overwhelmed with anxiety and old emotions. One of my coping mechanisms/fatal flaws/annoying habits is to never want anything. And if I do want something, I make sure to work over-the-top hard on getting/achieving it on my own. I can't achieve this myself. And even with help, it may not happen. That is hard for me. But, therapy-worthy issues aside, I am SO GRATEFUL that this door has reopened for us. So, so, so grateful. And beyond excited for the possibilities ahead of us. As Bionic said, "squee!"


  1. squee, indeed! That's a lot to get into, but it sounds like you've found the right person to help navigate it all. Fingers firmly crossed for good answers to all of your google (and HR) queries!

  2. That is a whole lot to take in at once. I can only send lots of hope and good thoughts your way. Know my fingers are firmly crossed for you!

  3. Exciting that there seems to be a path! I'm of the never want anything sort (unless, of course, I'm prepared to move the world to make it happen AND prepare completely for it not to). No solutions to that but absolutely delighted that things are getting clearer and moving along!!

  4. Very excited for you! I'm definitely keeping my fingers crossed for you!

    PS...You have been around since 2010, why have I never come across your blog all this time?? Love it! I had to giggle at this line: "He was a nerdy introvert, much like yours truly, so it was an uneasy 20 minutes of too long pauses and awkward interjections". Looking forward to following along!

  5. I'm so glad to hear the news that you're able to move forward with covered IVF and have a doctor you like. And that he compliments when he can. ;) Lots to think about, but you sound comfortable in these hands - wishing you luck and ease!

  6. So excited that you're joining the IVF train!