Wednesday, August 25, 2010

scattered, smothered, and covered

First, you need to know that since we were married and started TTC, we've both gone up 1-2 pant sizes.

Two weekends ago, and much to our horror, we spent an entire Sunday afternoon at the outlet mall buying fat pants (we were horrified by the "mall" part. I kind of like the "outlet" part). Having survived the Public and the Shoppers and the Dressing Rooms, we consoled ourselves with Taco Bell.

Since our last BFN and the resulting forced break to decide what to do next, we've adopted an exercise plan. This entails long walks (and sometimes jogs) in the evening during which we keep our minds distracted by discussing our baby options in exciting and excruciating detail. And we are TORN. Pulled in a million directions. IVF? DFCS? PCOS? (our concern with S's body) Options without acronyms (international adoption, lie and say one of us is a "single" woman)? Minds scattered. Hearts pulled. And we just don't know.

We have a one-on-one consultation with Dr. IVF next Friday. I've joined just about every adoption forum out there and have posted pleas for more information. Being a geek from way back, I kind of enjoy the researching and the finding out of things. But mostly I'd like us to be on our way. On whatever path is going to be the right one for our family.

In the meantime, I'll have some ice cream in bed with my love, enjoy my new, roomier pants, and ask that those who know please share any info on how lesbians or "single" women can successfully complete a domestic adoption of an infant or toddler.



  1. Don't forget the option of donor embryos, which in some cases they are just "given" without all of the adoption paperwork/process. So it ends up being a lot cheaper than adoption, and a lot cheaper than IVF. If my hubby were okay with it, I would totally do it.

  2. It really depends on where you live. In some states (DC, MD, NY, Iowa, MA) it's pretty straightforward. You have to look at private vs at public, then there are applications, fees, lawyers, classes.. but it happens everyday.

  3. I just have to add--don't forget about adoption from foster care. We've just started the journey, but there are lots of people further along. Many, many children have already been "cleared" for adoption, and are just waiting for their forever family. Many are much younger than you might think.