Friday, December 30, 2011

Wait in the cafeteria

That was our agency's solution to our high anxiety about birth father's violent past...come to the hospital for the birth, but wait in the cafeteria if he's present. Needless to say we weren't happy with that answer. Not that it might not be good advice if we want to avoid birth father altogether (we don't), but we were expecting more "counseling" on the matter. I guess that's lesbians for you, always wanting to process....

Which of course, we did. Luckily (or predictably?) I had a therapy session scheduled for Thursday anyway, so I introduced my wife to my therapist and we had a little couples counseling on our fears and our hopes. It really helped. We are definitely scared (of all kinds of things...revocation period, unpredictable birth father) but we also really want to be present for this peanut. So we're going to do our best to make this a positive experience and try to manage our fear and anxiety and just be present and take it one step at a time.

Honestly, I feel like an overstretched balloon. I may or may not have about jumped down S's throat when she made an off-hand, innocuous comment about my driving. So what if we cried in the Tar.get parking lot. We also left with 4 bags of peanut essentials (who knew they put all the baby stuff on clearance after the holidays - hello super cute fleece pants for $1.50 - and on that side note - geez, do I love little boy clothes - as well as the designers at Tar.get who make all the little boy clothes look just like itty bitty lesbian outfits). Just sayin':
Genuine Kids from OshKosh Newborn Boys Long-Sleeve Plaid Woven Top - Blue


  1. Must go to target later and see what's left! Did they have any suspenders? I'm glad you had a chance to talk through things with your therapist--this is a lot to process! And go easy on yourselves--crying in the parking lot sounds like a totally acceptable reaction to me.

  2. ha! you crack me up!

    I'll be thinking of you as you make your way through this time, but the truth is, its kinda good practice...managing fear and anxiety is a big part of parenthood ;)

  3. This is so exciting and nerve-wracking. I hope the birth father doesn't complicate this process. Thinking good thoughts for you all.